Favorite quotes from shows:

"Some all-but-forgotten bowed instruments from centuries ago produce sounds so ghastly and aggressive that it's easy to understand why they may not generate much revenue for their makers."

                                                 --Washington Post, July 1, 2001    full article

Regarding Unprofitable Instruments:

"Like most of them, right?"

"Truth in advertising"

"I'm sorry"

"The only honest name in the whole place."

"Where's your tin can?"

"It's nice of you to come all the way out here to entertain us."

"Alas."

"That's pessimistic."

"I love Unprofitable Instruments.  It's really evocative."

Regarding the Trumpet Marine:

"No home should be without one."

"Can I hear some more?"

"Thank you for those happy chills you just gave me."

"It sounds like a wounded rhinoceros."

"It's not as bad as a didjeridu."

"I think you need to work on your embouchure."

"When you play it, it sounds like a trumpet.  When I play it, it sounds like rearranging furniture."

"It's just as ghastly as my music history teacher used to say."

"Would you like to hear me play it?"
"I have."